Looking forward to the holidays with my family and I'm sure you all are, too. Especially Thanksgiving; No gifts or "mad dash" shopping -- just food, family and fun. When there is so much laughing going on you hate to leave the room even for a second! I'm thankful to be in a family that loves, helps and appreciates each other.
I lost a friendship earlier this year, although I suppose she wasn’t really a “friend”. Like you, I’m used to friends that see you through the hard times as well as the good. You support them and they support you. You encourage their endeavors and they encourage yours. You don’t keep score. You let them tell you about their cute nieces or nephews; their cute cats and/or dogs; their cray-cray job and their cray-cray spouse. Where does she want to shop? Okay, you are there and will pick her up. She wants to eat at your least favorite restaurant? Okay, you will go there because your friend loves it. She wants to tell you wayyyyyyy too much intimate info about her relationship with her spouse? Okay then, you will listen (even though you have NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER TO INFINITY AND BEYOND asked or told her such things). You will find a way to deal with it because it might help her to get it off her chest, although you can no longer look at him the same way.
Then the day comes when you apparently ask her to listen/help one time too many, and you don’t hear from the “friend” again. No return phone messages or texts. No note, just nothingness. As if you never existed.
At first this could have you simmering for a minute. But after all the reviewing and rewinding and rehashing of everything in your mind, what could come after a few days is something you never expected…relief. The phone calls that had begun to feel like duty rather than fun don’t need to be placed any more. The suppressed irritation at being interrupted mid-story yet again (and again and again and again)? Gone. Huh. Imagine that. Sometimes we tend to forget about/submerge ourselves for the sake of a friend, which we should never allow. When we make that mistake we don’t realize the clock is ticking on that relationship -- until it goes “boom”.
What to do? Take a breath and remember: Every event in our lives is an opportunity to learn how to do something the wrong way or the right way. And keep doing it the "right way"!
Let’s enjoy and celebrate all the true and genuine and wonderful relationships we have, family and otherwise, as we go into this year’s holiday season.
Wishing you bubbles and blossoms,
Katie Connally’s granddaughter
p.s. info on holiday pie ordering in the next blog update :)